Drop of something, anything.

I'm in a writing mood but I can't see what I'm writing so it will probably be a huge mess. My thoughts are all coming in English so that's how I'm going to write. I really do not know what to expect. Can any good come from this? So why doesn't it? Can I give up? I do not want to but I feel like doing it. My body and soul are not strong enough to handle all of it. That's exactly why I'm here at dawn writing about something that only makes sense to myself. Do we actually have a chance to win? Or it just happens when "the universe" wants? Am I able to keep my hopes up until something good happens? Anything, please. Because right now, my hair is the only thing that's been having a good moment. My parents feel like crap, nothing works, I don't like my latest pictures, I don't really feel anxious to start college and my ideas don't become actions. I just need something, just a tinny drop of hope to make me have the strength to keep up and fight and believe. Not even love comes to me. Not even love. I just need something. Anything to make me feel better.

*escrito na madrugada de uma noite ruim